Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My hand turned me down
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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