My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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