There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
