Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
