This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
