I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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