there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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