so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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