Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
