You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
