there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Green mimosas i think yes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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