I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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