she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
