Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
