the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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