addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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