he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My vagina just recognized that song.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
