Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
