Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The power of my boobs compel you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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