why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
