yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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