Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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