I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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