is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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