Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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