Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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