i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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