and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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