There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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