No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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