Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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