I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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