The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
