can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
