So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
