Christians are straight up FREAKS
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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