Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
