dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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