dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
