so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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