Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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