My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
