I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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