My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
