Sry I called you an 8
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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