Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize