she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
