do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
