i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
