Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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