please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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