why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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