is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
