You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
