if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
