You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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