what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
