just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
