two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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