our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
