I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
