just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
