He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
