that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
